I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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