Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
