At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You don't make any sense
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