i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sponge bath it is.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I met the friendliest cop last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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