I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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