i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
