idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how do flat chested girls get laid?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
