I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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