the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we're so committed to being not committed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
