I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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