Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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