I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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