why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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