Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
