i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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