Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
