I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why didn't you poke me back
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
