I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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