So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
