She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
