Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
