You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
