OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
