I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
