Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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