woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
