Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize