That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
