If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
