I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
