Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
