Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
