And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You pole danced in your parka.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
