...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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