P.S. I can't hear my feet
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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