the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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