are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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