I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
