her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
