i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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