well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize