ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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