Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
