I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
