Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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