can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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