Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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