i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It's just like the Real World with babies
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
