I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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