This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
