these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
