haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ketchup is God's man juice
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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