the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
be right there i have to get my cape
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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