yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
