ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
