It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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