So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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