I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
