Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
