You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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