3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
