i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
