For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
