I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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