But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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