his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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