i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
