last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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