Its about making memories worth repressing
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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