There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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