I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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