but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize