I want to have your abortion
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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