I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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